Morning Thoughts of My Dear Jacob aka Boy2 ...Sun2

Just when I think I'm kinda getting the hang of how to support my son in prison, we have a conversation last night about how the "rules" work, then I had another eye-opening conversation with a mom who has 2 sons in prison. My heart will probably never heal from this, but what's more painful is that I know it's quite possible his won't either! When I talked to him Sunday, I could hear the weariness in his voice. It is finally settling in.....from January 2020. (Sage is the Salve for our Souls, I think without him, this would have truly been unbearable, and I'm thankful so thankful for that little guy💖) This is the hardest thing about parenting...the helpless feeling of not being able to do what needs to be done.....to touch and hold him ...to be in his presence because he gives the best hugs....to see the whole crew together.....family functions....but most of all feeling like a failure, and the constant worry...sleepless nights...anger, anxiety, depression, guilt so much guilt for just choosing to live through it instead of continuing to suffer through it...

Somebody stop this ride, I wanna get off!🔐💔